I’ve always had a love/ hate relationship with working out. I’ve tried it all. Yoga, running, and spinning. You get the point. I’ve always based how good my workout was on the amount of calories burned and how much I was in pain the next day. Most of the time I hated it.
I never understood (or believed) the people who claimed running was ‘addictive’. I thought they were full of it. To me running was the absolute worst thing to do. Ever.
I wanted to be strong and healthy, but lets face it. I’m vain. I mostly wanted to look good. No matter how hard I worked out, I was not losing the weight. Something had to change. The week before Easter I joined Weight Watchers and started tracking my food online. That’s when things started to click.
I also joined a new gym. This was big. I was intimidated. So much Lululemon and spandex! It had great childcare and a deal on personal training. Something I’ve always wanted to do, but never got the guts up to take that step. Gulp. The thought was terrifying. Having a really fit person tell you what to do and force you to finish! I couldn’t just give up if it got too hard.
I have always said doing something that terrifies you can reap the best results. So I did it. I signed on the line and handed over my credit card.
It started out hard. Like almost impossible hard. I sweated and swore a lot. But my trainer just smiled and told me I could do it. A push up….are you crazy? Ten sit-ups (not crunches) in a row? Are you trying to kill me?
But I did it. After a few months, I could do several push ups in a row. I was starting to do things that I never thought I could do. And, I didn’t hate looking in the mirror. This was huge. Most days I started the morning at the gym with no makeup on and my hair up in a messy ponytail. And…..I didn’t think I looked horrible! In my world, no makeup, wearing spandex, STARING AT A MIRROR DOING SQUATS….and not hating the reflection? HUGE accomplishment.
Now, let’s also be real. Sometimes when I am working out I see a woman next to me with a body I would KILL for…..I feel a little less than good about myself. But, I need to remember that I see her there almost everyday. She’s working hard for it too….and I’m also 20 weeks pregnant. My mid-section looks a little less then desirable (in my opinion) at this stage. So I’ll give myself a pass on that for now.
In about four months I lost 22 pounds, went down two sizes, was able to run 1.5 miles without stopping and could do push-ups and plank for 45 seconds! And I’ve gained the confidence to push and not give up. This has not come easy….. but I didn’t give up. I could actually see my muscles on my biceps and triceps. And, maybe the best thing of all…..Charlie, my four-year-old, is so proud of me. He keeps telling me how strong I am and ask me if he can see my ‘pipes’.
So, I may not be exactly where I want to be fitness-wise, but am a lot closer then I was a year ago. A few things that really kept me going was that I was paying for the training……If I was going to invest in myself I need to be true to myself. I didn’t want that money to go to waste. The money really made me accountable for my actions. Second, I wanted to feel good about myself and be a healthy example for my kids. We talk a lot about being strong and healthy at home, and I didn’t want to just talk the talk.
I’m not perfect. Far from it. I’ve got a long road to go….but it helps if you can run part of it and not hate the way your butt looks.