I Hate Breast is Best

** I am not giving medical advice! I am just a mom and sharing my experience!**

I hate breast is best.  I hate nursing. There. I said it.  Those words have been simmering in my mind and soul for months, maybe years.  I have two boys (4.5 & 19 months).  And both of them are formula fed.  They are healthy, active, smart and sweet…….and might have had about ten ounces of breast milk in their whole life. I am passionate in my belief that Fed is Best, but still….as I am pregnant with my third child, I still feel that pressure from society, mom blogs and social media that if I don’t do it, I am a bad, lazy mom.

And let me tell you…..it really pisses me off.

I am not a medical professional.  I’m just a mom.  But, I can talk about my experiences and experiences that I have heard from other moms.  Yes, there are studies that show (or in their words, prove….) that breastfed babies are smarter and healthier then formula fed babies.

I say they are full of S***.

I have been told that I can outspoken and sometimes come across as brash when it comes to this subject.  And, I’m okay with that.  So many moms feel so much guilt about this, but don’t feel they have a voice to speak out.  I will be their voice. I have yet to hear an explanation to why it is better for me to keep trying to breastfeed my newborn that is continually losing weight and screaming because he is HUNGRY.  I want my child and the rest of my family to be happy and HEALTHY.

bottle
Tummy full and sleeping.

I refuse to live in a state of fear that other moms will judge me anymore.

Picture this……me, a new mom leaving the hospital with a big, chubby, sweet baby boy. My husband and I had NO IDEA of what we were doing or getting ourselves into, other then the baby 101 class we had taken and the mom blogs that I had religiously read throughout my pregnancy.  We were winging it.

  • Breast is best!
  • Don’t give up!
  • Use this mysterious recipe for cookies that will for sure increase your supply.
  •  Here is the number to the BEST lactation consultant….she is amazing.  Only $100 per consultation.
  • Formula is disgusting! Do you know what is in it? Even if your newborn is screaming…..don’t you dare give him that poison!! He will be fat and dumb when he grows up.

I’m not kidding.  I heard it all.  And, the crazy thing is NONE of this advice came from my pediatrician!

About a week after being home in the middle of the night, I was doing my best to nurse a screaming baby for an hour and my husband came in the nursery.  The baby and I were both in tears. He gingerly took the baby and mentioned that we had some formula samples in the pantry.  Let’s just try it.  How can it get any worse then this? I agreed.  I was exhausted. He made the bottle and the baby sucked down the whole bottle and promptly fell asleep. We all did.  It was glorious.

boys
These two are formula fed and so happy!

The next morning the sun seemed to shine a little brighter, the baby smiled a little more and I was finally able to appreciate and embrace the moments of having a newborn instead of feeling the pressure and helplessness of not being able to nourish and sooth my baby.

And, I never looked back.

We love formula for my family.  And it has been wonderful that my husband is able to take part of the newborn bonding (and midnight feedings).  But, I will say this is just the experience for my family.  I truly believe that every family is different and they should do exactly what they feel is right for their own.  Is that breastfeeding until two years old? Yes? Then go for it! Is it formula feeding from the moment the baby is born? Then do it!

We all need to join together and stop the madness.  Let’s change the narrative that breast is best to fed is best.  Education and options give moms the ability to make decisions for what is best for their family.

So, instead of rolling your eyes at the mom with a bottle feeding her tiny baby, or the mom who is nursing without a cover….give them a smile…..that can go a LONG way.

Gymboree Sale On Now!

21 thoughts on “I Hate Breast is Best

  1. I breast fed my son, but at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you. I did not do everything by the book and my son came out fine. I remember giving my son honey before the age of one which is apparently a big no no. As their mom you do what you feel is best.

    Like

  2. I could not agree with this MORE! I never breastfed my two children and had no desire to. I pumped for a little bit (less than 6 weeks) but the majority of their feedings was good old Similac. I’ve heard it all too “oh breastfeeding will keep them healthier!” – not true! I knew a friend whose baby was 5 weeks younger than mine (and not in daycare) who would get sick all the time. I feel like there is way too much pressure to breastfeed when formula is just as good in my opinion. Another thing which is amazing? My kids have slept through the night since they were 3 months old because I never nursed them to bed and never nursed them at night … and they didn’t use me as a pacifier! I could go on … anyway, thank you for sharing this!

    Like

  3. People say that mean stuff? That’s terrible. I think it’s so funny how everyone is encouraged to have an opinion, but when yours doesn’t match up with theirs, all of a sudden you become wrong for your view. I wanted to breast-feed but couldn’t, so naturally I went to the bottle . Sheesh, What else are you supposed to do? As long as you’re doing what’s best for your children, that should be all that matters.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for writing this!
    My son was born at 38w and right from the start he wasn’t interested in breast, he just went to sleep… We brought him home and it was horrible. He just did not eat at all, and was screaming from hunger. I tried nursing, I tried nipple shield, I tried pumping… I felt the pressure from lactation consultant, and from all the moms in my circle who all breastfed their babies… But at some point we said that enough is enough. My son was loosing weight, and no one in our house was sleeping. So we switched to formula. It took a while to find the one that agreed with his tummy, but we were all so much happier. However, for the longest time I felt like I had to defend my choice to other moms. Felt guilty feeding him around them. Or leaving him at someone’s house for a while, and leaving a bottle of formula…
    Fast forward two years. I was pregnant with my second and picked up the LLL’s book on nursing. Every other page they were talking about how bad formula is. That made me so mad!! My son is 2,5 and he is so happy, and also incredibly smart! He is also skinny as a stick, like my husband. He loves all the good food… I don’t think formula set him up for obesity as they say… Made me feel so angry I never finished the book. I was still planing to nurse my daughter. I was going to give it my best and see what happens. If it didn’t work out, I knew formula is just as great.
    My baby girl was born at 42w. She started sucking right away. We had some issues in the beginning, and i was ready to give up. But i was determined to keep going. Mostly for financial reason at the time. But now, 7 months later I love nursing! There is first tooth coming…so we will see how that goes hahah
    Fed is best. Breast or bottle, doesn’t matter! We as moms should be much more supportive of each other. It is already incredibly hard, keeping these tiny humans alive. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for putting yourself and your formula story out there. I can understand where “breast is best” came from (the origins of La Leche League are really interesting and show how in part breastfeeding was a way for women to take charge over a medical industry that didn’t offer them agency). But at the same time, that fight has made it so hard on women who have chosen formula. All of us are doing the best we can!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. LOVE this! Similar experience with our first born and we fought it for 8 weeks with lots of crying all around. I did end up pumping for 4-6 weeks for each of our other two kids and supplemented with formula- they were hungry! Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. *claps* You go girl, stand up for yourself! I was part of a mommy group that said all of these things and DENIED saying them the next minute. So rude, arrogant and disrespectful. They even tried to convince a mother of a child with a rare disorder in which breastfeeding would kill the baby that the doctors were lying to her and she needed to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is not a moral issue, I don’t understand why these women make it one!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s