** I am not giving medical advice! I am just a mom and sharing my experience!**
I hate breast is best. I hate nursing. There. I said it. Those words have been simmering in my mind and soul for months, maybe years. I have two boys (4.5 & 19 months). And both of them are formula fed. They are healthy, active, smart and sweet…….and might have had about ten ounces of breast milk in their whole life. I am passionate in my belief that Fed is Best, but still….as I am pregnant with my third child, I still feel that pressure from society, mom blogs and social media that if I don’t do it, I am a bad, lazy mom.
And let me tell you…..it really pisses me off.
I am not a medical professional. I’m just a mom. But, I can talk about my experiences and experiences that I have heard from other moms. Yes, there are studies that show (or in their words, prove….) that breastfed babies are smarter and healthier then formula fed babies.
I say they are full of S***.
I have been told that I can outspoken and sometimes come across as brash when it comes to this subject. And, I’m okay with that. So many moms feel so much guilt about this, but don’t feel they have a voice to speak out. I will be their voice. I have yet to hear an explanation to why it is better for me to keep trying to breastfeed my newborn that is continually losing weight and screaming because he is HUNGRY. I want my child and the rest of my family to be happy and HEALTHY.
I refuse to live in a state of fear that other moms will judge me anymore.
Picture this……me, a new mom leaving the hospital with a big, chubby, sweet baby boy. My husband and I had NO IDEA of what we were doing or getting ourselves into, other then the baby 101 class we had taken and the mom blogs that I had religiously read throughout my pregnancy. We were winging it.
- Breast is best!
- Don’t give up!
- Use this mysterious recipe for cookies that will for sure increase your supply.
- Here is the number to the BEST lactation consultant….she is amazing. Only $100 per consultation.
- Formula is disgusting! Do you know what is in it? Even if your newborn is screaming…..don’t you dare give him that poison!! He will be fat and dumb when he grows up.
I’m not kidding. I heard it all. And, the crazy thing is NONE of this advice came from my pediatrician!
About a week after being home in the middle of the night, I was doing my best to nurse a screaming baby for an hour and my husband came in the nursery. The baby and I were both in tears. He gingerly took the baby and mentioned that we had some formula samples in the pantry. Let’s just try it. How can it get any worse then this? I agreed. I was exhausted. He made the bottle and the baby sucked down the whole bottle and promptly fell asleep. We all did. It was glorious.
The next morning the sun seemed to shine a little brighter, the baby smiled a little more and I was finally able to appreciate and embrace the moments of having a newborn instead of feeling the pressure and helplessness of not being able to nourish and sooth my baby.
And, I never looked back.
We love formula for my family. And it has been wonderful that my husband is able to take part of the newborn bonding (and midnight feedings). But, I will say this is just the experience for my family. I truly believe that every family is different and they should do exactly what they feel is right for their own. Is that breastfeeding until two years old? Yes? Then go for it! Is it formula feeding from the moment the baby is born? Then do it!
We all need to join together and stop the madness. Let’s change the narrative that breast is best to fed is best. Education and options give moms the ability to make decisions for what is best for their family.
So, instead of rolling your eyes at the mom with a bottle feeding her tiny baby, or the mom who is nursing without a cover….give them a smile…..that can go a LONG way.